hmmmm.....feeeling hmmmyy....just got home from a basketball game..much fun there...we played northern cambria and JV won...the team i play on......................but varsity lost. it was pretty sucky...idk im feeling sorta idk...sometimes when i think and get all down about myself i just never feel good enough...nothings ever good enough.......i really do try my best to be like a good player and im not just talking about in basketball..but that sorta puts things in a better perspective...but ususally uin any sports i play i try to do my best. I feel like it never pays off...like for instance...we hardly win anything...and that sucks really bad..and i hate when ppl get gay and they dont knwo what losing feels like. but back to me feelin low...i seriously dont even know sometimes...i like...uhhh idkkk...i wanna cry right now and i have cried before about this stuff...just i guess...i wanna be good and be like the star or someone thats atleast recognized or appreciated or like...my name is someone that ppl know and are like yeaa shes good...bla bla..lol..idk im sure with out a doubt that other ppl feel the same way...so in a way...i feel sorta selfish...but idk..thats just how i feel...i look around and see my friends being like...the "star" so to speak..idk what u wanna call it...but like exactly what fans and ppl see as being a good player..or " Do you know "Sam So n so"...shes soo good..watch out for her"...gosh i dont even know what to say..this is dumb..i know...ehhh....alkfjaslkfjajfsld....i just try so hard and im so determined to become better and play alot and stuff...but i jsut feel overlooked all the time..and if im not given a chance then ig uess i wont get better...i get soo pissed...i just wanna fuckin win some games..in bball...vball...and softball..anything...i jsut wanna be good for god sakes...be on a team thats good...be good myself...be something. anything. i think sometimes that i just wanna drop everything i do. and see what would happen if i wasnt apart of anything...it prolly wouldnt make a difference except for id miss it. at the game i was being a mope..and one of my friends heard me talking about this and were like are u kidding me...have u ever heard urself draw or write..have u ever read anything youve written? so this makes me feel even more shitty cuz it just slapped me in the face..and this particular person isnt really good at anything so it made me feel liek an ass...so idk if its wrong to feel like this or what...idk anything...i wish i wasnt so envolved or soemthing...like maybe if i was good at jsut one thing...idk...but its kind of a gift that i have beein talented in areas...im pretty much like equal in everything and i can never seem to just get over the hump and become wat i was saying such as a name for myself..idk..i am only a sophomore...soo idk...eh...i cant talk bout this anymore...:-/:-( so im done...bye.

WELL...im excited cuz i havent posted in theis thing in about 2947385783 years...and i finally feel liek doin it!! haha i wish i was more like karen...shes me idol ....anyways...this weekend was a freaken blast!!!...saturday was the christmas dance and i went with my baby robert.. It was soo much funnn...i had the best time...laura was there with joel...they were so cuteeeeeee...and i love them and em and jason...<3333333 and karen was beign a chaparone...it was jsut a really fun night..dancing and being silly..then today i went back over and me adn robbie went sled riding and had fun in the snow haha...then watched the steelers play and stuff...then me and robbie went outside and were gonna build a snow man but built a snow penis instead hahah...when karen and donnie came home they were laughing it was great..next we went and played some basketball then came home and here i am...bored and still havent did my chem project...yay what fun this is gonna be...well im out ttyll....<<333333333333333333333 Bacon Baby

Fuck fuck mother mother fuck...got that song in my head...lol...anyways...im feelin shitty and its pissin me off haha...ldfjlsakfjasdlfjldsjflkdsjslkfjaslkjfsldkjflsdkjflsdkfjlsdjflsdjflsdjflskdjf bahhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk wth. i dont even no what to say...volleyball sucked...my butt hurts my fingernail hurts cuz i bit it real far today then ate hot wings..not very good..ahhhh idk...i feel like being a bitch...lol..and im i deserve to be one haha..idk dont we all?...whatevvvvvvv...im gone...2 hr delay tomorrow...hell ya mothaas...

Love you <33

Karen is the shit and if i was a man with a penis...id so have babies with her

Dedicated to.............

xoxoxoxoxooxxooxoxoxox